Time Wasn't On Your Side
by peppermalfoy
Summary: Ten years have passed since Ginny was in her seventh year. A short story told from Ginny's POV on how the past ten years have changed her life forever.


**Disclaimer:** JKR is a genius and Potterverse belongs to her and her only. I only own the plot and Henry.

**A/N:** Lyrics used are from Mariah Carey's _'Never Forget You'_. I normally ship D/Hr but well, I was listening to Mariah one bored night and basically, Ginny began begging for this story to be written ;) Enjoy.

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**TIME WASN'T ON YOUR SIDE**

**---------------------**

It was inevitable, they said. One way or the other, we all come and go the same. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Sometimes it made me wonder what was the purpose of it all. Maybe life really was playing some sick game. Life is given to us. Birth is a gift. Each child is a gift. Eventually each child gets his turn in living like little finger puppets with Life pulling the strings. Who is to say we are not answerable to anyone but ourselves? No. It's all pretty much a game of life, you see. We live life, we grow up and if we're lucky, we get to share our experiences with other children Life presents us. But is it really worth it all when you put your soul into sharing, caring and loving when in the end, Life loses it's interest in each gift?

You could say I'm one of those children who lucked out in Life. I grew up in a nice big family. Too big, some might say but who are we to judge our gifts? I was lucky enough to share and care, love and cherish. As I became older, the amount of children I came to know began to rise. I hold a different kind of love for each of them but love them all, I did. My experiences were not all prettty. I was exposed to unbelievable horrors when other children my age were arguing about silly playground crushes and early curfews. But I suppose the horrors were not all to blame on him. I was young, gullible. Obviously I had thought all problems and solutions rose and fell with him. I blame it all on life's unpredictability.

Perhaps that could explain the reason for me being on this roof. Muggle high-rise flats, they call it. Twenty storeys high. Another chess piece on the board in the game of Life. And I'm the pawn. It should not have been so surprising. Where life takes me, I follow. Who am I to deny it? I have the wind for company as I sit there on the ledge, remembering why I am driven to this point at the moment.

Harry. One of those children I loved in my life. He made my life special, he made my life mean something. I loved him since I first heard about him. My parents loved him before I was born. Practically the whole magical community loved him since he was born. Our saviour. He had his enemies, who doesn't? He went through greater horrors than I did. He survived it all. He survived me. It was no big secret that I loved him. Everyone I knew used to tease me about it up until he included me in his life. Not a bed of roses but I was not one to complain. I had my share of loves but they were nothing more than playground crushes. The thing with Harry was he became someone I could not only love but actually fall in love with. And I fell hard.

I remember it well, so well in fact that sometimes it felt like yesterday instead of ten years ago. Seventh year. Oh, yes, I definitely remember that year. The gruesome horrors that were Voldemort had perished. Events that made memories pushed to the back of my mind. I had bigger horrors that year. Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests. Of course, Harry had graduated a year before me. Happily enjoyed half a year of freedom and months of rigorous training as part of his Auror course while I was stuck in my last year of school at Hoggy, Warty, Hogwarts. He had begun taking to sending me a letter or two each week, words full of carefree jauntiness. I would write back occasionally, sometimes not for a few weeks but I suppose he understood I had barely time for correspondence between studying and Quidditch practice. Hell, he had been there and then some.

Christmas break. I had originally opted to stay in the castle, maybe catch up on some studying and Chasing tactics. I was a good Chaser if I had to say it myself but I wasn't the best. There's always room for improvement. I wanted to stay at the castle and work on my Quidditch skills if I wanted Gryffindor to win the next match against Hufflepuff. How they had gotten so good, I never knew but it was frustrating. Then of course, the letter from Harry thwarted my plans. I had complained about Quidditch to him and he replied with a promise of Quidditch lessons if I came home for Christmas. It was a start of a yearly tradition for Harry to stay at the Burrow every Christmas although I did not know this at the time. I was not going to pass up the opportunity of private lessons with Gryffindor's star ex-Seeker.

We fell into a routine. For every evening of the Christmas break, Harry would stand in the doorway of my room with a smile on his face. The first time it happened, I had been feverishly finishing off the last of my holiday assignments. I wanted to get it well out of the way before enjoying the festivities. He just stood there, leaning against the doorjamb with his arms folded, watching me as he patiently waited. Seeing the smile on his face as I screwed my ink bottle close was a relief of some sorts. I had smiled back and stood up when he asked if I was ready to fly. Three hours following that were spent on our broomsticks as he helped me hone my skills and sharpen my precision. I remember us touching down on the ground with our hair thoroughly windswept and our cheeks pink and flushed from the cold night air. He rewarded me with yet another smile, appraising my improvement. I spent the entire break just living for that smile, the way it lit up his face when he opened my present and even more so for his laugh as he digested Fred and George's jokes and tricks. I knew I would miss him more than I ever did when the time came for me to get back to Hogwarts. And I did.

_I won't see your smile and I won't hear you laugh anymore  
__Every night I won't see you walk through that door_

The rest of my school year dragged on. I loved Hogwarts, I loved the quirky professors and I loved the other students who were undoubtedly quirkier. I also hated Hogwarts, I hated the fact that it was my final year and I hated knowing I would probably never see most of the professors or students I'd grown to love so much anymore. Harry's letters sustained me on a certain level. It felt good having contact outside Hogwarts. Sure, Hermione's letters were fun too. We had gotten pretty close and she became my mentor, my best friend. I told her my secrets and she told me her secrets, it was as though we each found a sister we never had in each other. I loved her but I wasn't in love with her. I was in love with Harry. Harry was my sustenance. I doubt I would have made it this far without Harry in my life.

When I graduated, it was the best and the worst feeling in my life. My entire family was there to greet me on the other side of Platform 9 and three quarters, proud of their youngest Weasley. Hermione was there to congratulate me, a simple engagement ring sparkling on her finger courtesy of one of my brothers, Ron. Harry was there, saying nothing and wearing a gorgeous smile for me. It was more than enough for me. I knew I was falling in love with him and I knew he was falling in love with me.

Ron and Hermione set us up on a date a week before Halloween that year. Harry was clumsy and a little shy. I expected him to be. He never really had that much luck with girls before. I told him to take his time but not too long because if I were to wait around for him to make a move on his own, it would probably happen in about ten years. He had laughed then. And I laugh now thinking back on it. My straightforwardness sometimes got me into trouble but I never was the girl who doesn't speak her mind. It was a good thing I did because perhaps my bold statement prodded him to ask me out on a date all on his own. It was the worst date I ever had what with getting caught unawares in the rain, showing up at the restaurant only to find the reservations were cancelled due to the long queue, almost being mugged and ending up in his flat with a pot of burnt chili. If we were not in love already, that would have been the end of a relationship which had not even begun.

It took him a year of Saturday dates and building up his courage to propose to me. Maybe Ron and Hermione's wedding had something to do with it. He was their best man and I, predictably, was their maid of honour. I remember him asking me, about a month after their wedding, what did I think about switching roles from maid of honour and best man to bride and groom. I told him I loved the idea and I did not want to wait ten years for that to happen.

_Time wasn't on your side, it isn't right_

The first five years of our marriage were generally peaceful. He moved out of his small flat when we found a nice, cosy little house about twenty minutes away from Ron and Hermione's place. Burnt chili never made another appearance on our daily menus and of course, each Christmas was spent at the Burrow. Bill and Fleur's little twin brats were soon competing with Ron and Hermione's newborn for the title of Most Noisiest Baby during these occasions. I was unofficially appointed babysitter for the three children during my three-year course in Auror training. When I finally qualified, I found out my bonus reward during a visit to St Mungo's. Morning sickness, leg cramps, sudden attacks of nausea? I was a fully-qualified Auror who became a fully-qualified housewife before I even had any chance to take on a case.

Harry on the other hand was deeply immersed in his job. I began seeing him home less and less, sometimes not for whole weeks. The problems began when he was presented with a high-profile case. I told him not to take it on but I suppose bad blood runs deep. Draco Malfoy had always gotten on his nerves during his school years and now that Harry was given the chance to send him to Azkaban for life, who was I, his loving wife of almost six years, to stop him? I pleaded with him not to go. Call it a woman's instinct but I knew the sudden hysteria Malfoy caused had to be a trap and Harry was blindly falling prey to the bait.

_Wherever you may be tonight  
__Are you near me  
__I need you to be by my side_

He left for Syria a week after being given the assignment with a few other senior Aurors. There was no note, no hugs, no kisses, no goodbyes. I woke up that morning and he was gone.

_'Cause I never said goodbye, it isn't right_

Maybe he thought it was better that way. Who knows what went through his mind before he left. Harry was never good at dealing with his emotions, always letting the sun go down on his feelings. Henry kept asking where Daddy had gone, why he hadn't come home yet. I always had answers ready for him before. Daddy was at work. Daddy sends his love. Daddy will be home soon. And Daddy always did come home with a gift for his son, a bouquet of my favourite violets and kisses and hugs for us both. For a four year old, our son was very receptive to my reaction each time he asked about Harry. He stopped asking for Dear Daddy after a month. I enrolled him into kindergarten and began my first year as an Auror four years after qualifying.

The rumours were rampant regarding Syria, the actual news scant and vague. The entire magical community was on tiptoes around the topic. There was little doubt that Malfoy had the upper hand and I soon learned to avoid knowing anything about the situation. They said ignorance was bliss when the fact of the matter was I was completely miserable. It was bad enough I was missing the love of my life and having to come home to our son in a home made for three. But how do you explain to your son that Daddy might not be coming home for a long, long time? Henry, no matter how smart he was, was still a four-year-old wizard after all and he bought the story of Daddy gone on a mission to fight the evil Dragon. It was true in a way.

_Somewhere I know you'll be with me  
__Someday in another time_

Two years and four months passed before there was any real solid news from Syria. The evil Dragon was slain. Harry was found badly injured and sent to St Mungo's where he lay comatose for what felt like forever.

_I can't say I love you  
__It's too late to tell you  
__God knows I need you to know_

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. In some symbolic way, Harry and me shared a love which became the flame of our lives. In all the years we knew and loved each other, strangely, we never really said those three little words that meant the world to both of us. It was like a mutual knowledge, knowing seemed enough for us. I loved him and he loved me. There was no real need to actually say it out loud and we never did. For Henry's sake, I never cried since Harry was found. Telling a six year old boy that he may never talk to his father again was probably the hardest thing I had to do and I couldn't do it if I started crying. I had to be strong for Henry's sake and mine too because Harry wasn't there to be strong for me.

Now, all those violets and toys Harry gave me and Henry seem like nothing compared to Harry himself. He was the ultimate gift to us. Life had been kind for a while, lending me it's gift to love until it lost interest in Harry. The sky I had been staring at for the past few hours have darkened and the wind no longer became my only company. I can hear Hermione's footsteps as she approached, settling to sit beside me.

"I thought I'd find you here," she breathed, a small sigh in her voice.

"'Mione, hey..."

"Hey yourself." The wind blew around us and I pulled my legs up, resting my chin on my knees. Hermione's tone was gentle. "I know what day it is."

I shook my head slowly, exhaling. "It feels unreal."

"I know. We're all having trouble believing it ourselves."

"How do I do this, 'Mione? It's been a year and I still feel like I'm five years old. I'm lost."

"You're strong. You'll get through this, I know you will," she paused, then added, "besides, we all need you. Henry needs you. More than anyone else right now."

"I can't just forget about all this, Hermione."

"No one's asking you to forget about anything. You know this. And Henry ... he's a living reminder of all this. Harry wouldn't want you to forget about him anyway."

"It's just hard. This past year ... seeing Harry die on that bed," I bit my tongue, forcing down a wave of tears. "God, 'Mione. I never even had the chance to say goodbye."

Hermione pulled me into a hug, soothing me with gentle strokes on my back. She sniffed, the only sound of her otherwise silent crying. Crying which I kept forcing myself not to do. I couldn't. She pressed her lips to my temple in a sisterly kiss, a tear dropping off her cheek onto my hair.

"There's no need for goodbyes, Ginny. He's still watching over us. Over Henry and especially over you."

I believe her. I have to believe her. It's the only way I will ever get through today, the death anniversary of Harry Potter. And somehow, it doesn't feel so bad that Harry is dead. Life still goes on for me and I have a lot to remember our love by.

_Right now you're gone  
__You just vanished away  
__But I'll never leave you behind_

_No, I'll never forget you  
__I'll never let you out of my heart  
__You will always be here with me  
__I'll hold on to the memories baby_


End file.
